Breathe in Breathe out Repeat
by Elletnahs
Summary: Ah! This is my first shot at writing a Dramione! I've read so many of them and I hope this measures up to their awesomeness. :
1. Prologue

Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat.  
>It came quick - too quick. I hadn't realised how fast we were going. I didn't understand how my time had run out so suddenly. I had no plans, no thoughts. My mind was now a vacant space, with no sign of the thousands of thoughts I was having just moments before. I was sure that only ten seconds ago we had been at the bottom of the steps, and now we were almost at the top of the tower. I had no idea why he wanted me here. We raced up the steps like something was chasing us. Something terrible. I suddenly realised his iron grip on my arm was getting tighter and tighter as the seconds passed. It burned, and my eyes were tearing up. I turned my head to the side, I didn't dare show him I was crying. Then he let go. We were there.<br>"Stay hidden." he hissed, almost inaudible. It sent a shiver down my spine. I hadn't seen this side of him in months.  
>"Malfoy! What-" I tried to speak but his eyes told me it would be a stupid move. He turned his back to me, and walked towards the only window I could see from behind the pile of boxes that were now hiding me.<br>After Malfoy had left my side, it was easier to notice my surroundings. We were at the very top of the astronomy tower, and I could see all of the black lake from where I sat. It was almost pitch black, and the air was crisp. I was getting more terrified as the seconds ticked by. Suddenly I heard footsteps, and several dark shadows made their way over to where Malfoy stood.  
>I could tell one of the shadows belonged to Bellatrix - her hair was unmistakable. If it wasn't her hair giving it away, it was her cruel and menacing laugh that did the trick.<br>"Time's running out, Draco." she hissed. Similar to the tone Malfoy had used only moments ago when he warned me to stay hidden. "We don't want to keep the Dark Lord waiting!"  
>"It's going to happen." was all he said.<br>I could recognise his white beard and shocking robes anywhere. Dumbledore was standing inches away from where I hid.  
>"Bellatrix, Malfoy." He said, nodding. "Such a nice night, don't you think?" his voice was calm, and it unnerved me.<br>Malfoy stepped away from the window and Dumbledore took his place. I could see sweat dripping from Malfoys forehead. My heart was racing. I couldn't piece together this scenario. I couldn't understand no matter how hard I tried. Malfoy was facing side on to me, and I noticed his lips move. I couldn't be sure, but I thought he had whispered, "I'm sorry."  
>He raised his wand in one swift movement. I had always admired the way he could cast a spell so swiftly. Not this kind of spell. A green light erupted from the tip of his wand and Dumbledore fell.<br>Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat.


	2. Chapter One

_Nobody wants to admit to this, but bad things will keep on happening. Maybe that's because it's all a chain, and a long time ago someone did the first bad thing, and that led to someone else to do another bad thing, and so on. You know, like that game where you whisper a sentence into someone's ear, and that person whispers it to someone else, and it all comes out wrong in the end. But then again, maybe bad things happen because it's the only way we can keep remembering what good is supposed to look like._

* * *

><p>That's what it's like to be me. To live <em>my <em>life. One bad thing after another. I know how everyone views me. I know what they all whisper to their friends when they pass me in the corridor. I suppose if I didn't have the Dark Lord following my every move, their whispers would bother me. I would give anything to have to worry about their whispers instead of what I _do _have. I pulled myself out of my thoughts and focused on finding my destination. I was almost there when I spotted Potter, Granger and the Weasel. It was late and I hoped I would be the only one daring enough to roam the castle. I caught the eyes of Granger and crinkled my nose up with disgust. Such filth. I reached the end of the corridor to face a large, blank wall. I looked over my shoulder to check whether or not the three musketeers had turned the corner. When it was safe, I stared directly at the wall. I began plucking away at my thoughts one by one until my mind was almost empty. I only needed one thought in my mind. _I need the Room of Requirement. I need to fix the vanishing cabinet._

* * *

><p>When I was little I used to pour salt on slugs. I like watching them dissolve before my eyes. You know why salt works on slugs? Because it dissolves in the water that's part of a slug's skin, so the water inside its body starts to flow out. The slug dehydrates. This works with snails, too. And with leeches. And with people like me. With any creature, really, too thin-skinned to stand up for itself. It's hard to stand up for yourself when the thing you're standing up to is the most feared wizard in the wizarding world. It's weird how your mind changes when you're under pressure or filled with fear. You find yourself doing things you never would if you were carefree. You find yourself alone and terrified, desperately trying to fix a damn vanishing cabinet. I needed to vanish. I had to get away from the Dark Lord and my dreaded father. I needed to be free. I was trapped in my own flesh prison.<p>

* * *

><p><em><em>Once again I found myself heading to dinner late. For the past month that had become my routine. I would emerge from the Room of Requirement later and later each time, for two reasons. The first being my desperation for vanishing grew stronger and stronger, and the second being the Room of Requirement was slowly becoming my safe haven. As I heard the door to the Room of Requirement disappearing behind me, I ran my fingers through my hair. The stress was starting to become too much. I started up the corridor at lightning speed. I turned the corner and felt something thump against my chest, followed by a thud.  
>"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING YOU-" the shrieking broke off. "<em>Malfoy! <em>You're not supposed to run in the corridors! You idiot!"  
>"Now now, Granger." I replied. It didn't sound as threatening as I would have liked.<br>"Are you feeling okay?" She asked. Her brown eyes searched mine for a long time. I couldn't blink. I had never noticed how brown her eyes actually were. They were beautiful. I didn't reply.  
>"Malfoy? Your hair looks like a mess and your eyes are bloodshot. Maybe you should see Madam Pomfrey."<br>"Hermione, I _said_ not now." At the time I didn't realise I had used her first name. After the words escaped my mouth I realised my mistake. "Watch where you're going next time, mudblood." Then I ran to dinner. I heard her scowl and storm off.

* * *

><p>At dinner I wasn't even trying to pay attention to the conversation happening around me. I could see out of the corner of my eye Pansy staring at me. I could only take her presence in small doses or I'd find myself going through different hexes inside of my head. I looked up from my plate and caught the brown eyes of Granger. She looked at me curiously. I scowled back at her.<br>"Draco! Your hair looks amazing, tonight." Pansy practically shouted loud enough the whole Slytherin table heard her attempt at flirtation. I offered her a small smile, and she beamed back at me. In my head I heard Granger's voice. _Your hair looks like a mess. _I caught her eyes again and this time I couldn't scowl back at her. All I could do was stare.


	3. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

For once, it wasn't hard for me to keep my mind off _Won-Won_ and _Lav-Lav _snogging each other at the dinner table, as per usual. My thoughts were focused on Malfoy. What was he doing in that part of the castle? At that hour? My brain was going insane, and I was getting frustrated. No-one ever went to that part of the castle. In fact - there were only three people who did. Harry, Ron and myself. Even then, the only reason we went there was for the Room of Requirement. Suddenly my clouded mind became clear. That was it! What was Malfoy up to in there, though? It's no secret that Draco Malfoy is a tool, so it's safe to assume that whatever it is, it is bad. My thoughts were interrupted by a loud, high-pitched laugh from over the other side of the Great Hall. It was Pansy, clearly finding something Malfoy had said funny - _too _funny. I risked a glance at Malfoy, and immediately regretted it. His eyes were upon me, his expression unreadable. I couldn't tear my eyes away from his. All my previous thoughts had vanished as I looked in his eyes. They didn't look like the eyes of the Malfoy I had come to hate. He looked scared. A wave of sympathy ran from the crown of my head to the back of my heels.

* * *

><p>Professor McGonagall was in the middle of explaining a transfiguration spell, when the clock chimed and the class jumped to their feet and ran for the door. With a wave of her wand, McGonagall slammed the doors shut with a deafening bang. The students immediately froze in their places.<p>

"Now," she said, "don't forget that tomorrow is our field trip to Hogsmeade. I will need your permission notes first thing tomorrow morning. That will be all."

With another flick of her wand the doors flew open and the students poured out of the classroom. I noticed Malfoy turn left instead of right towards our next class - potions. I stood in the middle of the doorway and debated what I was going to do. I could either follow Malfoy and put my mind at ease, or I could head to potions class. I waited until the class had rounded the corner and then I turned left.

* * *

><p>I decided to skip potions class, this was more important. I was running out of time. The Dark Lord would expect me to carry out his plan in two months. <em>Two months. <em>This vanishing cabinet was no where near finished. I didn't allow myself to think of what would happen if I wasn't able to repair it. I noticed a bird cage hanging from the ceiling just above my head. I reached up and scooped the small, white bird into my hands. Its eyes were grey - the same as mine. Its white feathers reminded me of my hair. In a way, this bird was a small version of myself. I snapped out of my thoughts and continued towards the bare wall. The door appeared, and I darted through the opening. The room was cluttered and it would be hard for someone to find their way through all the piles of junk. Not for me, though. I knew the path to the vanishing cabinet all to well. I decided on the way here that I would test the cabinet, and hope for the best. I could feel the feet of the small bird pushing at my hands. After a few steps, I reached the vanishing cabinet and opened the door. I uncupped my hands and let the bird fly into the small, dark space. I closed the door and stepped away. I could hear the patter of the birds feet as it walked around, and I muttered the charm. It didn't work - I could still hear the bird. I said the charm more clearly this time, hoping to send the small bird to the vanishing cabinet located in Diagon Alley. The pattering of feet stopped. I opened the cabinet, and sure enough, the bird had vanished. I closed the door once more, and stepped back. I repeated the charm, and heard a thump. Stepping forward, I opened the door. The bird lay still in the centre of the cabinet. Its heart had stopped beating, and for a moment - so did mine.

* * *

><p>I had been hiding behind this statue for less than ten minutes when Malfoy emerged from the Room of Requirement. He was walking fast and I decided to follow him. I didn't know what I was going to accomplish in doing so, but I felt like this was something I should do. I had one hand over the pocket in which my wand was, and one hand holding my school books to my chest. I hadn't been following him for more than ten seconds when my grip loosened and I dropped my books. They landed with a thunderous <em>bang <em>on the castles hard floor. Malfoy spun around on his heels and his eyes bulged right out of his head. I would have laughed if I wasn't so terrified.

"GRANGER? ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME?" His voice was so loud and filled with anger, it bought tears to my eyes. I felt stupid and looked down, wiping my face on the sleeve of my robes.

"Don't flatter yourself, Malfoy." I whimpered.

"How dare you follow me! I ought to hex you right here, Grang-"

"Why are you skipping class to go to the Room of Requirement?" My tone was calm now, and I kept my eyes firmly on his.

"Why are you sticking your nose in other peoples business,_ mudblood_?" With one last look at my eyes that were filled with tears again, he walked away from me. _  
><em>


End file.
